Scrubs Scenes Rikkai Style
by Magic Detective
Summary: Some of my favorite scenes performed by my favorite team! Rated for slight language.
1. Scenes 1

**Scrubs Scenes Rikkai Style**

**Scene Bag 1**

**Scene: Rap**

**People: Sanada, Akaya, Niou, and Marui**

**Original: Tuck gets schooled on rap by Elliot and Molly**

(Niou, Marui, and Sanada are sitting at a table outside with a radio)

Niou: Half of what rappers say doesn't make any sense. Like that Snoop Dog/Dr. Dre song, what is "still hitting them corners and those ho-hos girls" mean?

Sanada: Many disadvantaged African-Americans have limited nutritional choices, therefore they much subsist on Ho-Ho snack cakes. I think that's what it means.

(Akaya walks up to them)

Akaya: Actually, fukubuchou, it's "still hitting them corners in them low-lows, girl". It's low-lows, not ho-hos. See, fukubuchou, in the hood, a low-low is a low rider, or a car with an adjusted suspension that allows it bounce up and down.

(Akaya moves up and down like a low rider)

Marui: Heh, heh.

Akaya: And Dre and Snoop enjoy driving around together in their low riders around the corners, or lizzle-rizzles. "I'm representin' for the gangsters all across the world! Still hitting them corners in them low-lows, girl! Still takin' my time to perfect the beat and I still got love for the street!"

(Sanada looks embarrassed and starts staring at the table)

Marui: Sanada, you got schooled on rap by the only 2nd year regular on the tennis team.

(Sanada's face suddenly turns furious)

Sanada: None of you can prove it!

(Niou holds up a tape recorder)

Niou: I got it on tape.

(Sanada puts his head down on the table in defeat as Niou plays the recorder while Marui laughs and Akaya starts doing the hand spitting thing for rapping in victory)

**Scene: Song**

**People: Sanada, Yukimura, and Akaya**

**Original: JD really loves Journey**

(Sanada and Yukimura are sitting behind a tree)

Yukimura: Nobody loves Journey as much as you do.

Sanada: I don't love Journey.

(Akaya walks by)

Akaya: "She's just a small town girl…"

Sanada: "Living in a lonely world, she took the midnight train going anywhere…" Alright, I love it.

**Scene: Language**

**People: Jackal, Renji, and Akaya**

**Original: Elliot and Tuck tries to make a kid happy by speaking in French**

(Renji and Akaya are on the courts with Jackal)

Renji: "I just thought it would make Jackal feel better if we do this match speaking in Portuguese, okay?"

Akaya: "I have a soccer ball in my pants."

(Renji faceplams while Jackal stares at Akaya)

Jackal and Renji: Are you good at Portuguese, Akaya?

(Akaya realizes what he said and becomes embarrassed)

Akaya: "Grapefruit?"

**Scene: Partner**

**People: Niou and Yagyuu**

**Original: Carla gets inside Turk's head**

(Yagyuu and Niou are checking their invite list for Sanada's birthday party)

Yagyuu: Okay, this is your last chance to uninvite that ex-girlfriend from your class.

Niou: She knows Sanada from the kendo team.

Yagyuu: Isn't that fortunate.

Niou: _Thank god he thinks that chick I invited is Sanada's kendo teammate! Well, guess what? There's no relation, baby!_

Yagyuu: Oh, and by the way, don't think for a second that Sanada's "teammate" will be sitting at our table.

Niou: _Oh my god, Yagyuu's inside my head! It's okay. Use it to your advantage. Fetch me my racket, Yeahgyuu!_

Yagyuu: Get it yourself.

Niou: _AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! _

**Scene: Locker**

**People: Niou and Marui**

**Original: Tuck performs explotory surgery Indiana Jones style**

(Niou and Marui are on the courts)

Marui: I say, we go into Sanada's locker and explore it.

Niou: _I always wonder what if would be like in Sanada's locker..._

(A fantasy scene occurs with Niou and Marui are standing outside Sanada's locker)

Niou: I'm going in.

(Niou enters the locker, which inside seems a cave)

Niou: Marui! Hat!

(Marui throws an Indiana Jones hat into the locker and Niou puts it on)

Niou: Sanada's… why it have to be Sanada's?

(Niou explores the cave until he finds some gum packs)

Niou: Getting the golden gum packs…

(Niou grabs the gum packs, but darts start shooting, so Niou runs out of the locker)

Niou: Marui…

(Marui reveals he got hit by the darts in the butt, Niou looks shocked)

Marui: Next time, tell me about the risks.

(The fantasy scene ends and Niou and Marui are back on the courts)

Niou: I have to watch out for Locker Darts.

**Scene: Bitches**

**People: Yukimura and Akaya**

**Original: JD talks about his first operation**

(Akaya is talking with Yukimura about an operation he heard in the hospital)

Yukimura: And what happened next?

Akaya: Well, the patient started to hyperventilate, and then she reach for a hit for what she thought was a oxygen tank, turned out a helium container from pediatrics, then she screamed, "I'LL KILL YOU, BITCHES!", which frankly, I thought was hilarious.

**Scene: Pregnant**

**People: Niou and a random fangirl named Kaori**

**Original: JD learns Kim is pregnant**

(Niou has been called by a girl he slept with to meet her alone)

Niou: You're pregnant?

(Kaori nods her head)

Niou: Are you sure?

(Kaori holds up a bunch of pregnancy tests, all positive, Niou looks in shock)

Kaori: I'm pretty sure.

Niou: I'm not sure how to phrase this, Kaori, so I'm just gonna dive right in… have there been other penises?

Kaori:It's your baby, Niou.

Niou: Cool.

Kaori: Are you okay?

Niou: _AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! _Yeah.

**Scene: Ketchup**

**People: Sanada and Marui**

**Original: Burger day in the cafeteria**

(Marui is passing by Sanada's lunch table and picks up the ketchup there)

Sanada: The ketchup is for the three demons, Marui.

(Marui walks backwards and puts the ketchup back on the table before walking away)

**Scene: Startling**

**People: Akaya, Niou, and Marui**

**Original: JD and Elliot scare the interns**

(Niou and Marui are experimenting on a fake body)

Niou: So, Marui, get in here and see the effects of cirrhosis of the liver.

(A hand covered in blood pops out of the body)

Niou and Marui: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

(The two fall to the floor and Akaya reveals himself, his left hand covered in fake blood)

Akaya: Hey. You know I was going to do that.

(Marui and Niou are revealed to be holding each other in a funny way)

Niou: But it was still very startling!

**Scene: Chart**

**People: Sanada, Yukimura, Akaya, and Niou**

**Original: The Todd gets a wedgie**

(Sanada and Yukimura is with Akaya at the club)

Yukimura: Okay, Akaya, I think you're a seven on the pain chart.

(Yukimura looks at the chart again)

Yukimura: Yep. Definitely a seven.

Akaya: What's a ten?

(Niou is then seen getting a wedgie after making a smart comment to a girl)

Niou: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

(Sanada points to Niou)

Sanada: That's a ten.


	2. Scenes 2

**Scenes 2**

**Scene: Disguise**

**People: Sanada, Yukimura, and Niou**

**Original: Elliot mistakes another guy for JD**

_(Sanada is in the halls looking for Yukimura)_

Sanada_: Renji's right. I have to suck it up and be like a man. There's no other way if want to get the courage to talk to Seiichi. _

(Sanada sees Yukimura talking to him, but not him)

Sanada: _Now this is just cruel. _

(Sanada rips the hair off his doppelganger, revealing to be Niou)

Niou: OW!

Sanada: Cut it out, Niou.

(Niou runs off)

Yukimura: I don't even want to know.

**Scene: Lollipop**

**People: Sanada and Akaya**

**Original: The Sacred Heart Acapella group messes with Elliot**

(Sanada is alone in the locker room)

Sanada: _Nobody's around… perfect!_

(Sanada takes another look around the room)

Sanada: "Lollipop, lollipop, oh lolli, lolli, lollipop, lollipop, oh lolli, lolli-"

(Akaya suddenly pops in)

Akaya: "Lollipop! Pop!"

(Sanada turns around in shock and sees Akaya)

Sanada: Akaya! What are you doing here?

Akaya: I didn't know you like the song! I go here for singing too! Besides, I was just getting my stuff!

**Scene: Favorite**

**People: Yukimura, Akaya, Niou, Marui, and Sanada**

**Original: The Sacred Heart Doctors are lured out by their favorite things**

(Yukimura, Akaya, Niou, and Marui are outside on the campus)

Akaya: Where's the video game handouts? I got told there was one.

Marui: I was told there was a candy truck.

Niou: Where's the porn booth?

Yukimura: Seems like everyone was lured out by their favorite things.

(Sanada walks in)

Sanada: Hey! Niou and Marui aren't getting expelled!

**Scene: Brainfreeze**

**People: Niou, Marui, and Sanada**

**Original: Turk gets a brainfreeze when he's about to talk to a patient's wife**

(Niou and Marui are drinking slushes at lunch when they see Sanada)

Niou: Oh, god, look! It's fukubuchou! We have to apologize!

Marui: Alright, first one to chug their slushie is off the hook. Come one, here we go!

(Marui drinks his slushie, but starts clutching his head)

Marui: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! YYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHH! OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH! BRAIN FREEZE!

(Sanada walks over to them)

Sanada: Where is my apology?

Niou: Look, fukubuchou, we're really sor-

Marui: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Niou: Marui!

(Sanada sweatdrops)

Marui: It's so cold…

Niou: Look, Marui is currently having a brainfreeze. He's a fantastic player…

Marui: Uh huh.

Niou: And he's sorry. I'm an amazing player myself…

Marui: Nah.

Niou: And I'm sorry too.

Sanada: Good. Although, try not to hold a contest on who has to talk to me, or else you're getting one hundred laps. And please don't place a frog in my bag again.

**Scene: Star**

**People: Niou, Marui, Akaya, Yukimura, Sanada, Jackal, Yagyuu, and Renji**

**Original: Cox and Kelso fight Star Wars Style**

(The Rikkai Regulars are in the club and Niou and Marui are fighting over Akaya)

Akaya: _You know, for a moment, I knew they were fighting over me. I mean, it seems like one of those battles from one of those action movies I saw._

(A fantasy scene occurs, with Niou as Darth Vader and Marui as Obi-Wan Kenobi)

Niou: I've been waiting for this day!

Marui: Bring it.

(The two get out light sabers and start fighting)

Yukimura: This is looking bad.

(The others are then seen, Akaya is Luke Skywalker, Yukimura is Princess Leila, Sanada is Han Solo, Yagyuu is R2-D2, Renji is C-3PO, and Jackal is Chewbacca)

Yagyuu: Oh, god.

Renji: Please win. Please.

Sanada: Easy, Chewy.

(Jackal roars while Niou knocks out Marui's light saber)

Akaya: That's it. I'm going in.

(Akaya gets out a light saber and starts fighting Niou)

Akaya: Take this! And this!

(Fantasy scene ends and Akaya is hitting Niou, still thing he's in his fantasy)

Akaya: May buchou be with you, Marui!

(Everyone is staring at Akaya and he snaps back to reality)

Jackal: Akaya, have you've been watching Star Wars again?


End file.
